dog days are over

Ah, my friends (or friend, ha), it has been awhile. Another season has passed since I last wrote. Lots has happened since then, as should be the case. Made friends, saw old friends, saw new places, saw old places. You get the picture. Had good times had bad times. Through it all God has been faithful. I waver, I question, I fall, I lay there sometimes for a little too long. And then he picks me up and reminds me that even though I lack grace he has more than enough for me and for everyone around me and beyond. If only I could always be in this state of getting over myself...

Now it's fall, this funny little season where you're not quite sure what to feel. Excited because of everything you've learned and done that past couple months but hesitant to step into another season of learning, when all you want are those warm, fuzzy feelings back.

Speaking of warm and fuzzy, I just got the warmest blanket in the mail, courtesy of an aunt and uncle. probably my second favorite moment of fall. These are the perks of being away from loved ones, they send you things you need. Like postcards (shout-out to Janice!)

She was probably my favorite part of summer :D. Love you JLu !

weather is warm

Maybe I should write a different post for each photo I take? Thoughts? I have thoughts on swimming in open water, which I already sort of explained to Janice, but maybe I'll expound more here, later...

Highways and Hotels

Well, I've been wandering around for the last couple weeks - thinking, reading, working, talking to strangers. Driving a lot everyday :) This past weekend I went to the Pacific Ocean over near a town called Ocean Shores, WA. I didn't expect it to be as windy as it was, therefore, I froze but I still walked into the ocean and kept reading The Ragamuffin Gospel (which I highly recommend), it's all about God's grace - and it's so good. Please read, if don't have a copy, I can mail you mine once I'm done :)

Driving through the northwest is so different from Texas and the south...there are trees everywhere and I have a feeling that locals take them for granted, maybe not :) But I am just amazed everyday as I drive down the highway (rain or no rain - it's pure beauty, though I think everything looks better with a little sunlight shinin' down on it).

Sunday I made a trip to Seattle and visited Mars Hill Church. I was befriended by 3 random people and went to lunch with them at Gyuamas? Something like that. Afterwards we walked off the food at a trail across the street which ended up being a 3 mile loop - a fact we were not aware of beforehand. But I guess it was for the best...for my body at least. It will thank me later :)

I then decided a trip to the REI flagship store was NECESSARY. Little did I know that Seattle's roadways would try to get the best of me. I had to call my brother for directions. It was huge to say the least, and I could probably find a nice mountain man there if i wanted too, just kidding ; ) I did buy some carabiners though...i am going to try and set up a pulley system for my slackline - hmmm...we'll see how that works out.

I'm still living out of a hotel - which is getting really old, fast. I've always thought I could live without a home, you know, be a vagabond - and maybe I can, maybe when you don't stop moving, you don't really have time to notice things that you miss about a home. But since I'm rather stationary at the moment - despite my day/daily trips, I rather like the idea of have a place to come back to that's welcoming - where you can relax...and just relax. Not that being in a hotel isn't relaxing - it is. Getting to love the continental breakfasts just a little TOO much, ya know? All the free coffee/chai tea in the world, and free oranges :)(plus I don't have to clean).

On Monday I had to go to Vancouver, WA for more training. Afterwards I decided to make a short trip to Portland (only 15 min away) and am intensely jealous of the beauty they are surrounded by. I went for a run in Washington Park and goodness...I feel as though runners in Portland have some sort of advantage over runners in other places that are not as populated with trees, a person could run for hours with beauty like that spurring them on. Of course, afterwards, their roadways got the best of me, as I found out they never wanted me to turn left again in my life. They only like right turns in Portland, go figure.

I have to pack up and unpack one more time next week and then we'll see what happens from there.

In a new place

Well, I figured it's that time to try and put into words everything that has been happening to me. Perhaps as a marker, so I don't forget.

I am now in Washington state. Living. Here. And I have no idea right now for how long or if I'll ever go back to Texas. It's one of those things that's too far ahead to even think about, let alone plan. But I'm here and I know not one soul. Which is interesting. But in the town I'm in, Yakima, I have not met a person that was rude or just had a bad attitude, which is a little weird. But good I think. I keep meeting random people who have just helped me out tons (whether spiritually or just by making life a little easier). I can't help but think I'm being taken care of. :)

I've always typically thought of myself as a mixture of an introvert/extrovert, depending on who I'm with. I don't mind talking to people, in fact I think it's awkward/weird/uncool when two or more people are in the same area and can't say hi to one another. I've come to conclude that I could be perfectly satisfied living alone in the woods. At the same time, I would never do that (unless there would be some guarantee of human contact :)

For the next two weeks, I'm over near Olympia, and starting to learn what I'll be doing for work. It took about 3 hours or so to get here, but it felt like 30 minutes. I stared at mountains full of snow and waterfalls, WATERFALLS, on the sides of highways :)

Everything has been great and I can't help but feel blessed.

Today I decided to walk over to this pizza place to eat a salad. So I sit at the bar, just cause, who hasn't wanted to eat at the bar alone? No? Being the person that I am, I started talking to the person next to me. As soon as he turned to look at me I felt really weird. He had bloodshot eyes and was probably drunk. He didn't really make sense so after awhile I just didn't feel like talking to him anymore. I think he noticed and he got kind of quiet. Is there such a thing as a creepy quiet? That's what it felt like. So I paid for my food and decided to leave. He asked why I was so nervous. Hah, I didn't want to to tell him he was weird, so I just kind of brushed it off, shook his hand, and left. Hope he doesn't have the swine flu. Maybe, in a sense, when I talk to people, I'm just using them. I don't really care that much about them (sometimes), and decide in order to make my life more interesting, I'll talk to them. I am over-analyzing this, maybe. Or maybe I've hit the mark.

I don't know why that creeped me out so much. I went back to my room after that and prayed. Life goes on and maybe I learned something good today. Maybe focus, trust God in every conversation. I will be taken care of just as I have been the last 21 years of life.

hello, world

So I've graduated from college, and a semester early at that. And I'm still jobless. It's funny how most people are scared of being without a job. Somehow, they get value from it, they feel worthwhile, like a member of society. I'm a part-time member I guess. And while this whole looking for a job thing is getting kind of old, I keep reading how entrepreneurs are where it's at during recessions. Part of me wants to just throw myself into creating my own adventure travel company and then the other rational half says, no, find a job, make some money, save that money, and then go do it. That is probably better advice? If you are an entrepreneur, how did you go about it?

favorite

you know that feeling..the one where your body is tired, your mind is tired, and you just sort of sit. Not numb, just present, maybe on the verge of tears, maybe on the verge of laughter. i'm there. its kind of peaceful but my heart kind of aches because it misses, so maybe not so peaceful.

it's 10am, and i'm sitting in the physics library.
got 3 1/2 hours of sleep last night then biked furiously to the bus stop this morning, got a phone call from my friend with no phone that they were at a different stop, biked again. locked it. I ran about two blocks and when I got to the stoplight I could see that no one was at the stop. My heart pretty much dropped at that point and I just started walking. I don't know why I didn't just turn around and go back to campus or something. I sat down and cried for about a minute. Asked God why I couldn't say goodbye. You know how in the cheesy movies, the fog sort of lifts and then clarity comes, or something like that, maybe a big car zooms by and then there's that person, the one you thought you'd lost. Well there was that yellow shirt, that pretty yellow shirt and that pretty dirty yellow hair. I was at the wrong stop. I looked down the street and bus was turning down.

And now I'm here. Rode the bus back with two people who were strangers last night, weird how things like this automatically tie you together. There's no awkwardness, no one is phony. You can cry in front of them and no one cares. Conversation darts back and forth, between the future and the past, and then random topics to lighten the mood.

I like that sort of vulnerability. And it's okay that my heart hurts a little. It's good for people to know that. I don't bend. I don't think I ever go back to being the same person when circumstances change. I break. But I'm being pieced back together into something more wonderful I hope, but not for my sake.