Monday, June 16, 2008

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

you know that feeling..the one where your body is tired, your mind is tired, and you just sort of sit. Not numb, just present, maybe on the verge of tears, maybe on the verge of laughter. i'm there. its kind of peaceful but my heart kind of aches because it misses, so maybe not so peaceful.

it's 10am, and i'm sitting in the physics library.
got 3 1/2 hours of sleep last night then biked furiously to the bus stop this morning, got a phone call from my friend with no phone that they were at a different stop, biked again. locked it. I ran about two blocks and when I got to the stoplight I could see that no one was at the stop. My heart pretty much dropped at that point and I just started walking. I don't know why I didn't just turn around and go back to campus or something. I sat down and cried for about a minute. Asked God why I couldn't say goodbye. You know how in the cheesy movies, the fog sort of lifts and then clarity comes, or something like that, maybe a big car zooms by and then there's that person, the one you thought you'd lost. Well there was that yellow shirt, that pretty yellow shirt and that pretty dirty yellow hair. I was at the wrong stop. I looked down the street and bus was turning down.

And now I'm here. Rode the bus back with two people who were strangers last night, weird how things like this automatically tie you together. There's no awkwardness, no one is phony. You can cry in front of them and no one cares. Conversation darts back and forth, between the future and the past, and then random topics to lighten the mood.

I like that sort of vulnerability. And it's okay that my heart hurts a little. It's good for people to know that. I don't bend. I don't think I ever go back to being the same person when circumstances change. I break. But I'm being pieced back together into something more wonderful I hope, but not for my sake.

Friday, April 18, 2008

what's your motivation?

Read this in an article from Trendwatching.

Think our obsession with status as the driver of, well, everything is somewhat far-fetched? Then consider the following: in mature consumer societies, is there really any kind of consumption or even behavior that is entirely devoid of status considerations?

An extreme (consumption) example: is installing a top-of-the-range home spa or cinema, for one's own pleasure and comfort, not to be seen or to be used by anyone but the owner, free of status considerations? Or will the owner, at one point or another, tell peers about the fact he or she had this spa or cinema installed, and is using and enjoying it? What if the owner was not allowed to tell anyone about these assets?

Or how about this one: is the ultimate and ongoing value of going on an exotic trip discovering remote islands that other tourists haven't set foot on before—the experience itself—or is the real value to be found in the impressive stories a traveler can tell his or her peers on return?

It's hard not to tell stories and there's nothing wrong with wanting to tell stories. Heck, Jesus told them all the time. Of course his were for the purpose of furthering God's kingdom. What are mine for?

Thursday, April 17, 2008


I just found the coolest thing ever...

tree tents.

Monday, April 7, 2008

the duck bus told us a joke but then kept driving

if things always went the way they were planned. i suppose there wouldn't be much of a story.

Which is why sometimes I like to walk into things without certain expectations, half-blind. i do this A LOT. Maybe one of the reasons so many people see me as so relaxed (that, and some people are a little too uptight, and need to let go of some of the things they worry about - but we all have those days i guess).

so yeah i really dont like to look at things in advance so much, im more of a short term person. BUT i'm thinking a little planning is wise because I think i'm selling God a bit short, His vision is bigger than me, so mine should fall on the same line.

now, i really have no idea whats going to happen this summer, there are certain things that could, but I AM EXCITED either way :D

I think of Popsicles when i think of summer, and who doesnt smile at the thought of popsicles, only a twisted soul...oh wait.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Sunday, March 9, 2008

music overload

i just spent the last hour or so compiling a short list of bands i want to see for free during sxsw. and day shows are usually free - :D Not that I'll go to all these..but if i could, i would.

I think the best way to organize this list is by day. Bands a are going to appear multiple times, i just wrote all the free shows down, because i don't know which ones i can make. So lets start with wednesday.

  1. 12pm - Why? @ Emos
  2. 12:45pm - Anathallo @ Mohawk Lounge
  1. 1pm - Kevin Devine @ The Compound
  2. 1:30pm - The Hood Internet @ Austin Convention Center
  3. 3pm - Hood internet again @ Yard Dog
  4. 4pm - Balmorhea @ Progress Coffee
  5. 5:15pm - Mothfight! @ Birds Barbershop
  1. 11:30am - Why? @ Emos Annex
  2. 12pm Hood internet again! - Mohawk lounge
  3. 12pm Balmorhea again! @ Knitting Factory
  4. 1pm - Anathallo again! @ Emos Annex
  5. 4pm - MGMT @ Urban Outfitters
  1. 12pm - Rocket Summer @ Emos
  2. 6pm - Joseph Arthur @ Homeslice